Let People Lose You

Let people lose you. Not as punishment. Not as strategy. As relief. Some of us make ourselves smaller and smaller, easier to read, easier to hold. Thinking that if we are clear enough, simple enough, agreeable enough, no one will misunderstand us. No one will leave. But you cannot shrink yourself into being loved properly. You can only shrink yourself into staying. Those are not the same thing. If you have to disappear a little more each time to stay close to someone, that is not closeness. That is the wrong people, and you already know it. They say, it is better to be alone than in bad company. Alone, you are still whole. In the wrong company, you are worn down one small agreement at a time until there is less of you than there used to be. Look after the one who is always there when everyone else has gone home. That's you. Start there. Stop explaining yourself. You do not owe anyone a reason for who you are. Stop softening your no. Say it once, plainly, and leave it there. Stop showing up where you are not valued, hoping this time will be different. Stop being so findable to people who only look for you when they need something. The ones who are meant to find you will find you as you are. They always do. The rest? Let them lose you. You were never theirs to keep.