On Knowing Who's Really There

Anyone can ask how you are. That's the easy part, said out of habit, said in passing, not expecting an answer they will follow up on. Your real friend stops. They don't let it pass by. They ask again, a different way. How bad. What happened. Do you want to talk about it. They don't need to ask who you are, they already know, and they're here to hear it, all of it. They intently remember what you say and will genuinely be interested in what happens next. Good or bad. Some who fall short of this don't do it out of unkindness. They think of you as a true friend, and they mean it. But nobody ever showed them how to hold another person's hard moment. It isn't always coldness you're meeting. Sometimes it's simply someone who was never taught the shape of it. That doesn't mean you owe them your hardest days. You can understand where the gap comes from and still choose not to hand them your true weight. If you have someone who follows up, who remembers, who stays interested in how it turned out, you are richer than you know. That is what friendship is about. That is what makes life sweeter. Tell a good friend how much you appreciate them today.